i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Randomize