I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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