i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
