The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize