Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
Randomize
