I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Randomize
