I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Randomize
