come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
