So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
Randomize
