I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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