My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
