Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
Randomize
