The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
Randomize
