Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
Randomize
