haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize
