We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
