Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
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He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
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I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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