Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
