I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
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