What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
