What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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