when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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