I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
