another moral hangover. fuck.
i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
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