What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Randomize
