we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
Randomize
