i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
This can only be settled by a dance off.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
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