Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
