i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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