I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
how do flat chested girls get laid?
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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