Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
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