I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Randomize