I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
Randomize
