Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Randomize
