Don't you send me to vm
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
I want a musical about memes.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
