I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Randomize
