thus making me awesome and them whores
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
