I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
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