Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
Randomize