then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
