Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
