I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Randomize
