I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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