i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
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