My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
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