if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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