How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
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