Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
You made out with two different species that night
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
Randomize
