Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize
