Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
