Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
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