We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
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