I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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