Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Randomize
