The idiot babysitter thought my dildo was a teething toy and gave it to our child.
Did you put it in the freezer again?
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
