ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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