lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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