sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Randomize
