It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
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