yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
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